Sharing by Eileen Dolan

We always hear that we should live in the present. What is so bewildering to me is that I really don’t know what the present looks like. So few moments are spent there. My present moment is filled with thoughts of how people and situations have turned out in the past. I find the choices I make in the present are based upon what happened yesterday, last week, last month, last year.

These expectations create what is happening in the present. I conjure what my day will be with my fears and insecurities. I even goad the people around me to somehow comply with these hidden stories. Yesterday he was upset with me… so I live as if he is still today and am ready to defend myself or cower away. Yesterday I made a mistake… so today new risks I dare not take. At the end of the day, happy moments seem like accidents and I wonder why sadness came my way.

Today and every day from now on, I want to try something different… What if today things are not the same? What if my interactions are reunions with beloved friends all past hurts long forgotten? What if today, the kind action I want to offer brings happiness to someone, even if imperfectly delivered? What if today I don’t anticipate anything, as if all is good in the universe? What if I wait in every moment for what that moment will bring instead writing the script in my mind for how the present will end?

I cannot even imagine what the infinite possibilities life would bring if I were to live so openly.

I am not the person I was yesterday, nor are those around me. So, no matter what, things will never be the same. I can choose to believe that today will be good, beautiful, happy, and free. I can act with confidence that my interactions will be filled with love and kindness, and I can believe that I am capable and competent that mistakes are just new lessons. When l live grounded in the miracle of this moment, my happiness will never be lost, it will only shine brighter like a dim candle transformed into a brilliant torch, dispelling the darkness of yesterday.